New Supplementary Accessory: A peek at Bowlby’s Idea
From the dad saying if you ask me when you look at the 1968, “You know this provider regarding the abdomen to own a little man to stay alongside the mom, therefore the intimate thread it means? ”
Exactly what regarding the other matchmaking? Such as, what is the difference between people who’re close friends and adults with a holiday accessory bond to one another, including siblings otherwise personal nearest and dearest? There are distinctions, but one is one to members of the vgl family constantly share a particular activity or notice you to definitely holds their friendship (functions otherwise fulfillment), while merely staying in the business from a secondary accessory shape is oftentimes enough by itself for individuals to be blogs.
Really, I do believe that it’s an identical abdomen to create intimate ties you to definitely remains with our team all our lifetime, therefore we, as the adults, experience a similar attitude out of losings whenever someone you care about dies, because the a kid feels who has lost its mommy
There are intercourse variations, also. Female tend to make bonds having nearest and dearest due to the fact confidants and to search the comfort and you may assistance in times off stress if you find yourself guys are apt to have more of a fight-or-journey response to stress (as the “buddy” system about You.S. Military can develop into a supporting connection bond especially in moments of great chances).
Secondary accessory relationships are a good advantage. Children who develop about three or higher supplementary attachment ties (perhaps not depending moms and dads) are often way more resilient, provides high care about-admiration, and you may a lot fewer intellectual-health conditions than youngsters having less supplementary securities. That have close securities with a supporting number of the amount of time some body are very comforting possesses real standard value in a situation out of issue.
A category regarding adult pupils participated in an easy survey. These people were asked to assume they had experienced a serious crash and you can have been really shaken up yet not personally damage. The young was indeed questioned to assume just who they might phone basic to state they certainly were Ok in order to get encouragement and you may spirits.
- The first was in fact people that saidthey carry out mobile phone its mom earliest, and the second exactly who told you they might cellular telephone its lover first. They came up that people in the 1st category just weren’t inside the long-identity matchmaking or got only recently already been you to definitely. It watched their mom as his or her main supply of morale.
- Those who work in next class have been into the long-term relationship together with set-up a separate attachment bond to their partner during a period of big date, a bond which had been more important in such a case than just the brand-new top accessory bond to their mommy.
How much time was it necessary for the young to be in a relationship in advance of they likely to cell phone its mate first instead than simply mobile its mom earliest? Normally, youngsters within this classification got inside a stable relationships getting two years otherwise extended. People that got in a love fewer than two years still told you they would cellular telephone its mother very first.
Most merely, everything we discover ‘s the growth of a holiday connection thread between one or two visitors. Throughout the years, it second connection thread grows towards an initial connection thread since the their relationships deepens.
My dad concentrated generally on the primary attachment matchmaking ranging from an enthusiastic infant in addition to people increasing your just like the limited analysis the guy got during the time indicated on the the higher relevance towards the long-name mental health result of the little one rather than some other dating
Which “new” number one connection bond isn’t constantly according to the unequal kids-father or mother matchmaking out-of a grown-up proper care merchant and you may a baby-care and attention individual. Alternatively it’s an even more equal relationship, which have times when one or the other mate gives spirits and you may service so you’re able to his companion.
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